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Coming Soon

After billions of years of Phil watching over the formation of your really quite lovely planet, if we do say so ourselves, millions of years of dragging you up from slobbering, flatulating creatures to thousands of years of listening to you humans griping, preying, bitching, moaning and all around being not very thankful we thought it would be nice if we actually gave Phil a long awaited vacation.

Earth
ok

It would be great

if everyone contributed a little to his vacation fund and a couple cocktails while he was away. We all know how selfless you all are so we thought we would give everyone a choice of some really cool Phil wear to say thank you for helping as well as joining our first ever “Humans That Know Stuff Club”

We would like to give him an all-inclusive vacation to the beaches of Gargleteaze for 2 of your earth weeks during our upcoming staff party. It would include a lovely oceanview room with unlimited very alcoholic drinks and all the fresh spillions he can eat. He’s become quite miserable to work with the last few thousand years and he may be just about ready to go over the edge. You’ve probably already noticed he’s started answering your prayers, questions etc in a not very Phil manner

If we manage to raise enough money we will even send him to earth to come visit and finally say hi. I’m sure once he’s had his vacation he’d really like to meet you all.

Time to Phil completely losing it!

2016/11/15 12:21:50

What may happen if Phil finally goes off the deep end

Dinosaurs might be brought back because they were really pretty low maintenance all in all.
Phil might ask to be transferred to a more friendly, loving planet that’s already developed and has stopped asking stupid questions which, because we’re so short staffed would leave you without a representative and open to developing by yourselves and you really don’t want that!
He might start doing very weird and not very pleasant jokes on you like giving whales legs, making birds huge with really giant corresponding poops or making your planet warmer than it should be, creating not very funny planetary storms.
He might just show up, move in and be a really bad planet mate and start giving you humans really silly advice, which you’ll most probably follow, he can be very convincing!
Lose your planet in a late night poker game to some being that decides your planet would make a really nice summer home and give all humans, animals and all your crap 30 days notice to get off.