“PHIL” is a novel written in the grandest scale; with the prose of Hemingway and the insight of Jon Stewart leaving you with an education far exceeding the internet, including the porn part. Never before has a novel reached such literary heights, provoked more deep thought than Schoepenhauwer and more shock than all the Kardashians put together.


Sales are expected to exceed the bible in the first week,

including all those in the seedy hotel rooms,so make sure you get on our pre-launch list!

If you

ever read anything in your life this is it. If you want to be smarter, richer, funnier at parties or just better looking, this is the  book for you. If you want to have sex more, be healthier, live longer, be taller ( or shorter), if you want larger breasts ( or smaller), this book is for you.

If you’ve

ever wondered what the world is all about, why you’re all there and not here, why you look like you do, act like you do, why you still live at home, why you drive a crap car, why you’re sitting in your miserable apartment and not on a beach with a really fruity gender neutral drink, this book is for you.

If you

find yourself constantly breathing day in and day out, if you’ve ever found yourself thinking about anything, if you find yourself waking up, then hours later only falling asleep again, this book is for you.

If you’re

older than 5 months or younger than 500, if you’re male, female or other, if at some point you found yourself born, this book was written just for you!

Pre-order your copy now!

Copies are not at all limited so

Unless you want to be the only person

on the planet that still doesn’t have a clue

Here’s what far smarter and more pretentious humans are saying about Phil

Amazing Reviews

Melissa R. MillerDenise T. PorterEvelyn D. MarlerLourdes D. WoodardLaurie R. McCormickJennifer T. DuongTiffany D. GolightlyPatricia M. HarrisTabetha S. PickettCarmen J. MillerSharell C. Holloway
If you’re alive or plan on being alive in the near future this book is a must read!
Melissa R. Miller
Elevator mechanic
A perfect read for those people that don’t know everything but wish they did, think they know everything but don’t or if you just have a free weekend and are too hungover to do anything else constructive.
Denise T. Porter
Labor relations manager
If you can read or have friends or family members that can read we suggest you read this book.
Evelyn D. Marler
Transmission technician
Great for all humans!
Lourdes D. Woodard
Ornamental ironworker
A perfect combination of humor, storytelling and insight that all living beings need and should have had years ago
Laurie R. McCormick
Elevator installer
Ideal read for anyone that plans on doing something sometime.
Jennifer T. Duong
Personnel training officer
The most wonderful book I’ve ever read or will ever read. It’s hard to believe how stupid I used to be!
Tiffany D. Golightly
Brokerage sales assistant
Not only have these books made me better, more intelligent, insightful and far cooler than before but also far better looking. Thank you Phil for finally showing me what everything’s all for!
Patricia M. Harris
Professional property manager
An out of body experience!
Tabetha S. Pickett
Assignment clerk
It’s made me a far better person than everyone else who hasn’t read it. Thank you Phil!
Carmen J. Miller
Placement specialist
My parents aren’t very smart and before I had no chance at life, now I do, you’ve changed everything! Thank you Phil!
Sharell C. Holloway